I gotta feelin' ... woo hooo!

I love that Black Eyed Peas song and it seems very fitting for me now (well, the title does anyway). 

I have to say, dear internet friends, that I've got a good feeling about this one.  There is absolutely nothing happening with my body to substantiate this feeling, but its there. 

I am entirely symptom free right now with a few small exceptions.   My boobs are mildly sore - but I attribute this to the trigger and the progesterone.   And, with the exception of last night, the 3 nights before that, I was up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.   This NEVER happens to me - well, except immediately before finding out I was pregnant the second time around - this was the only "symptom" I had but it was much later in the 2ww than I am now.   I'm only 5dpo today so I suspect that peeing in the middle of the night is a symptom of drinking too much before bedtime and nothing more.

Its entirely possible that I'm setting myself up for a crushing fall next Tuesday when I find out, but so be it.   I have a good feeling, and I'm putting it out there ... in writing.

Pretty ballsy, huh?

Here we go again

IUI #1 tomorrow
IUI #2 thursday

currently have 2 follicles measuring 21mm and 19mm
e2 levels are great
lining was 9mm this morning - hopefully i'll have more growth by tomorrow's IUI but no U/S to confirm so i'll live with (and be happy with) 9mm

please please please let this be our month.

please...

Groundhog Month

And so Groundhog Month continues.

I am currently on CD7 - back on injectibles and back at the clinic every.single.morning for b/w and u/s.   Currently, my estrogen levels are looking good, lining is looking good and I have 4 follies worth measuring.  I'm hoping that at least 2 or 3 of them stick around and continue to grow so we can get on with "operation get knocked up".    I'd like to be a crybaby over something exciting and good instead of bad news for once!

The nurses, lab techs and ultrasound techs at my clinic have all told me they're getting sick of seeing me there month after month and all say they are rooting for me and think that this is my month.  

After my clinic visit this morning, I was driving into work and, while sitting at a light, I noticed the first 3 letters of the license plate in front of me were "BFP".   No joke.   Then, while walking through the parking garage, I noticed another license plate (wasn't searching them out, honest!) that started with "BFHB".   My first thought was "hmmm... first BFP and then BFHB - could mean i'll be seeing a big fat positive this time around to be followed by hearing a big fat heart beat".  

I know, I know... its a stretch but a girl can dream, can't she?   Universe, are you trying to tell me something?   Please.... tell me i'm going to get pregnant and STAY pregnant!   Please!

negative

fuck.

i will not...

pee on a stick.

i will not
pee on a stick.

no, i will not.

And the wait continues...

Who's idea was this 2ww anyway?!   The days just draaaaag on. 

I've been a super bad blogger in that I haven't been commenting at all.   I am reading though and am thrilled to see that beta's are rising and hearts are beating for quite a few of my IF sisters.    I'm also rooting for others who are, like me, in the painful waiting stages.   My heart is breaking for those of you who are just plain having shit luck.   I want so much for all of us to be in the "beta's rising, hearts beating" stage - we ALL deserve that oh so much.   Where the fuck is my magic wand when I need it most?

I don't feel pregnant at all.   I do have some symptoms, but I know not to fall into that pattern of assuming I'm pregnant because my tits hurt (a little, not a lot).   A mixture of Gonal F and progesterone will do that to anyone.   I have had some strange cramping but I also know better than to assume that this means I'm knocked up, it could also mean that I'm anxious.   I've certainly experienced cycles with cramping at odd times for no real reason and this could be just that.   I've had strange waves of nausea but that could be my nerves getting the better of me because I want to be pregnant so so badly.  And I shouldn't be feeling sick at this stage anyway.    Otherwise, I feel totally and completely "un pregnant". 

I am not going to POS this time around.   I'm not!   I'll probably have to chant that to myself quite a few times between now and the weekend .... but I'm really not this time! 

I've already got a plan in place for our next cycle.   Another IUI with an increased dose of injectibles is the way we're going.   Always feels good to have a plan. 

I hope you're all doing well and hanging in there... I'll get back to commenting soon - but just know I'm thinking of you all and keeping up with your blogs!